A new year, new beginnings
Well, its a new year. I should be all motivated and excited, but yet, I am not. I try to keep myself pulled together. I have so many people tell me that they understand. Some do, some don't. If they have been where I am, they know, and I listen to them. If they have not, I politely thank them and tell them I am doing the best I can. Time has allowed me to laugh more and get back to some form of normalcy. Is it easy? Absolutely not. It is extremely hard. Sometimes something as simple as a song will set me into sobs. It's healing I suppose, to remember times that I should remember. Its those times that I should not remember that haunt me and continue to intensify the pain embedded in my heart. That pain comes and subsides, but it never goes away. All I can say is that I have had to search deep in myself to levels I have never been, to levels that go beyond the physical being that I am, and beyond that of my soul. Until you know for certain what I am talking about, you must think me to be crazy. But I am not. Trust me. If you carry faith, you will know what I speak of. I have to trust in someone who I cannot see that there is a purpose to everything that is on this earth. I just may not like or approve of the journey I have to embark upon.
Sentimental talk aside, things are as they are. I start my externs in a couple weeks. I am doing my clinical/administrative externs at Unity Urology, and my phlebotomy at Witham Hospital. I am nervous yet excited. To me it feels bittersweet.
Jake is doing well. I am sure that he is not enjoying the very cold weather, but I hear spring is coming. He has a big bag of peppermints that I need to take to the stable this afternoon. I am sure he will appreciate that. I had to get myself a rolling tack caddy because it was a long haul to carry everything just to groom and saddle him. Just picture little ole me with a bridle and halter hanging from my neck, saddle pads and tack box in one hand, and either my English or western saddle hanging off the other. Oh, let's not forget my helmet and chaps, and the many things that dropped out of my tack box on the way to the saddling area. And then imagine me in head to toe Carharts, gloves that won't allow my fingers to bend, tall arctic riding boots, knit stocking cap, and a scarf. And I wonder why Jake freaks out when I approach him. I must look like a monster with riding weapons.
Anywho. I am sure there is more I can ramble about, but I want some lunch! I made this little video thing on some website. I am sure Chris will give me "the look" once he finds out I posted it on my blog. Meh. He will live. I could do worse!
Sentimental talk aside, things are as they are. I start my externs in a couple weeks. I am doing my clinical/administrative externs at Unity Urology, and my phlebotomy at Witham Hospital. I am nervous yet excited. To me it feels bittersweet.
Jake is doing well. I am sure that he is not enjoying the very cold weather, but I hear spring is coming. He has a big bag of peppermints that I need to take to the stable this afternoon. I am sure he will appreciate that. I had to get myself a rolling tack caddy because it was a long haul to carry everything just to groom and saddle him. Just picture little ole me with a bridle and halter hanging from my neck, saddle pads and tack box in one hand, and either my English or western saddle hanging off the other. Oh, let's not forget my helmet and chaps, and the many things that dropped out of my tack box on the way to the saddling area. And then imagine me in head to toe Carharts, gloves that won't allow my fingers to bend, tall arctic riding boots, knit stocking cap, and a scarf. And I wonder why Jake freaks out when I approach him. I must look like a monster with riding weapons.
Anywho. I am sure there is more I can ramble about, but I want some lunch! I made this little video thing on some website. I am sure Chris will give me "the look" once he finds out I posted it on my blog. Meh. He will live. I could do worse!
posted by Kristin | 11:19 AM
1 Comments:
I Love that slideshow, especially the pic of Chris with Jake! :) Hannah's been asking about you and Jake a lot lately. We need to get together for lunch or something if you have time and we'd love to go ride again once it gets warmer.
Nat
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